We often argue with people who don’t share the same believes or ideas with us which may make them not like us and because we don’t want to be disliked we try to stay away from argument. It may be with a new relationship we’re trying to form or something else. The desire to remain likable sometimes stops us from arguing or encountering confrontations.
What we should seek to earn should not be likability but RESPECT. Respect is what develops attraction.
How then can we remain charming while arguing?
Don’t get emotionally involved:
It may be hard not to but try not to put your personal feelings on the line
when arguing. Always try to bring yourself to normal even after when the room
is heated up. Investing your feelings in argument can make you go aggressive or angry.
Don’t create dead ends:
if someone says something you disagree with, saying “that’s stupid or you are
wrong” is a dead end. Instead try to state your opinion or something which
completely defies their logic.
Divorce the concept from the
individual: too often when we disagree with someone on a subject,
we make it about our relationship with that person and on a deep level. Try to
see the issue as an issue and the person as a person and tackle the issue
without dragging your relationship with the person into it.
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